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A hug from Amma
By Mario Cacciottolo BBC News
When it comes to being tactile, the British are
notoriously, well, hands-off. So what leads hundreds of people to travel
to a giant hall in London all for a hug?
"
Yes,"
replies the bus driver, somewhat wearily, for the third time, "this does
go to Alexandra Palace". Amma, the "Hugging Saint", is in town.
And this procession of slightly disoriented passengers are among the
crowds making their way to be embraced by her at the north London venue.
For 30 years Indian spiritual leader Mata Amritanandamayi, to give her
her real name, has been hugging people, leading some to give her a
saintly nickname. This really is as simple as it sounds.
Amma sits on a slightly elevated seat. Strangers
come before her, kneeling, and she embraces each as though they were her
own flesh and blood. Time spent with Amma is free and she does not
promote any particular faith, being for "all religions and none". She is
said to have doled out some 26 million hugs, or "darshan", as the
experience is known. Each is counted off with a clicker. She
has said that to hug someone is to symbolise giving, and that her
embrace should help awaken the spirit of selflessness in people.
But there's more than just a cuddle being dished out here. Her charity,
the Mata Amritanandamayi Math, has UN consultative status and claims to
have built more than 36,000 homes and several hospitals for India's
poor.
Small hours
Now, for the 20th year, she is back in the UK,
and the main hall at Alexandra Palace thrives with the smell of incense
and the sound of musical chanting.
Rows of neatly stacked chairs are filled with
people waiting for Amma's highly efficient army of volunteers to marshal
them for their darshan experience.
One such volunteer Julia Lewis, a 36-year-old
management consultant, says no-one leaves unhugged. "Amma will
stay until 2am, 3am, 4am or later, until there is no-one left. She does
not get up, she'll just sit there the entire time and has about an hour
and a half to sleep before she starts again." Katarina Diss, 52, of
Bedfordshire, is one of those at the event who has experienced darshan
for the first time.
"It's difficult to put into words," she says. "You
are touched by something very profound that ripples through you. It's
something that's going to unravel itself over time, I think." Australian
Suraj Vagjiani is testament to the sort of devotion that Amma commands.
When he heard she was appearing in London he scraped together £650 for a
one-way ticket just to see her - although a trip to India would have
used fewer air miles.
12,000-mile hug
"I love to experience time with Amma. The time it takes and money it
costs to fly over from Australia is worth it for a hug with Amma."
What is it about a hug that has these people so
enraptured?
Psychologist Dr Elvidina Adamson-Macedo says being
hugged can release powerful natural chemicals in the body.
"Beta-endorphins are released when you are relaxed, and are a natural
opium. A hug can induce that in a person. "Opening your arms is
the act of a mother, who is ready to comfort her child. But it's not
only the action, it's everything that comes with it - the emotions and
affection that's translated into a non-verbal action. "But
it has to be right. It would not work if it was just a performance."
It sounds credible, but Amma doesn't have a monopoly on embracing. So
what's her magic?
Special vibrations
I'm about to find out. I approach as she holds a
constant stream of people close, murmuring in their ears, laughing and
smiling like a playful schoolgirl at those who kneel before her. She
hands out sweets, presses apples into palms and swiftly scatters flower
petals through the air.
Some seem relaxed. Some are beaming from ear to
ear. A few are overcome and simply sob in her arms. Amma takes each one
in her stride, remaining a warm and comforting rock to which they
literally cling. It is a moving sight, and strangely not uncomfortable.
While continuing to hug, she explains through a
translator that "everything in this world has a vibration".
"Every emotion that you can think of has a vibration," she says. "Love
is a very special, very uplifting vibration. "That's what I'm
trying to give people. It's like visiting a perfume factory. Consciously
or unconsciously you will carry that fragrance around with you."
When asked what she gets out of hugging people, she lets out a short,
excited giggle, as though the question had caught her by surprise.
"I don't expect anything from anyone. My life is to give, not to take."
Now it's my turn to experience darshan. I kneel before Amma and shuffle
forwards. She flings her arms open with a delighted smile that reminds
me of the infrequent occasions that I go back to see my mother.
Heart leap
Amma takes me in her arms and I melt naturally
into her embrace. Everything goes black. There is noise out there, but
it seems to just become an indecipherable hum. It's just calm and
comfortable in my head and heart. Her robes are beautifully fragrant,
and for the rest of the day I keep getting wafts of it, distracting me
momentarily from whatever I'm doing. Amma murmurs into my ear,
repeating something that sounds like "Lo, Lo, Lo." Whatever the words,
they have a power. She kisses my forehead and cheek, and finally
we part. She lifts up my hands and kisses them, and that for some reason
makes my heart leap. There are beaming smiles all round. I thank
her and to my surprise, as I stand, I'm a little wobbly on my feet.
Amma, incidentally, means mother. On the way home, I call mine.
Life Changes at the Last Minute,
A father and daughter learn to heal their troubled relationship before
it's too late.
By Toni Weingarten
Life is a work in progress. I’m not sure of the source for that quote,
but it rings true with me. Some argue that people don’t change, but as
our bodies develop, plateau, and then decline towards death, our spirits
need not. We do have an all-too-human aversion to change, preferring the
comfort of our old ways, even if these ways do us no good. Like the worn
security blanket that Linus carried everywhere in the Peanuts cartoon,
we take refuge in tattered habits. Yet we are constantly writing and
editing the story of our lives until the day we die.
It is never too late to overrule our resistance to change, examine and
adjust our behavior, and reap the resulting benefits. My father is an
example of this, and so am I.

My father died at age 90 after a few months in hospice. While I’d
worshipped him as a little girl, once I became an adult we never had a
comfortable relationship. He was brilliant, highly controlling, very
critical, and saw other people through his own needs, not as individuals
with needs differing from his. I found time spent with him akin to
taking oral exams for a doctoral dissertation with the understanding I’d
never pass muster--it was extremely painful. The tension when we were in
the same room was thick.
When he entered hospice at age 90, I knew it was my last chance to
connect with him. I wanted a positive memory of him to carry in my
heart, but feared his final words to me would be harsh and I’d have to
live with their shadow. It was a chance I felt I had to take. Once I
took the step toward him, I found that since he was now bedridden, he
seemed contained somehow and so I felt him less likely to reach out and
hurt me.
Also, knowing his time on earth was limited, I was willing to put my own
needs on hold and to let my emotional responses to him go unexpressed. I
didn’t expect either my father or myself to become different people,
only to try and find some common ground together. This made relating
with him seem…possible. Since in the past, relating to him had been
impossible--this was a big step forward, and I took it.
Basically what I did was simply show up to sit with him as he lay dying
and, sitting there, I realized that he, too, was making an effort to
connect with me. I assume that he didn’t want to die on an angry
discordant note and wanted to make peace with me. He was making a
choice, as he could have been harsh or shooed me away. Instead we sat
there, and eventually we held hands.
He talked some about his life and present situation. After a few weeks
of developing this trust and seeing we could be together without
striking at one another, I noticed how his eyes lit up on seeing me
enter and sit by his bed. This gave me the courage to ask him one day if
he was proud of me…I wanted his blessing. He said yes, quietly not
forcefully, and while it wasn’t as enthusiastic a response as I’d have
liked, I could tell there was no qualification or reservation in his
voice. He went on to tell me that I’d made a good life for myself and
that, most important, I’d done it on my own. I could hear respect in his
voice and it hit home. I felt that I no longer had to prove myself, and
a weight lifted from me.
Perhaps as his body became more vulnerable, his desire to control
loosened. Maybe his shield of invulnerability simply weakened, and he
realized that he was only human and needed to love and be loved.
About three months into his hospice care, I went to visit him on a
dreary December day with rain pouring outside. I took a seat by his side
and held his hand. I cried some, as it was clear his end was near. My
father gently lifted my hand to his lips and tenderly kissed it. Then he
looked at me, and there was a light shining through his eyes and
emanating from him; I knew God was in the room, and I trembled.
“You look beautiful,” my father said to me as I sat there with swollen
red eyes.
My father’s face was so peaceful and full of naked and undisguised love,
and then I got it: my father had always loved me fully but had been
unable to show it, choosing to hide it deep within himself. Now, with
both his and my own efforts, he dropped all the veils and gave me the
most precious gift in the world, one I feel unbelievably blessed to have
received. That brief moment of his full love was so powerful that it
seemed to make up for years of going without it.
Three days later, my father died in his sleep at home, his heart open.
Together, we worked until the very end to reshape and edit our
father-daughter story, and we managed to give it a happy ending.
Angelina Jolie,
Celebrity advocate for child victims of war,
By Kimberly Winston
While filming
Tomb Raider in Cambodia in 2000, Angelina
Jolie met her first small victims of war, children who had lost
limbs from stepping on the thousands of landmines plaguing that
nation.
The encounter launched Jolie on a humanitarian voyage that has taken
her through 20 nations and among some of the world's poorest people.
Last year, she and her partner Brad Pitt cofounded the Jolie-Pitt
Foundation, a global charity that focuses on emergency relief in
humanitarian hotspots. The Academy Award-winning actress has said
she now gives one-third of her earnings to charity.
"I was making a lot of money for something that is a pleasure and
realizing how a third of that would end up doing a lot of good," she
told Readers Digest in May 2007. "I just don't need that much. It's a
simple decision." Jolie is nominated as one of Beliefnet's Most
Inspiring Persons of the Year for her personal commitment and ongoing
work to raise awareness about humanitarian crises throughout the world.
In 2001 Jolie approached the United Nations High Commissioner for
Refugees (UNHCR) and asked how she could use her celebrity to help raise
awareness about places like Cambodia. Within months, she was visiting
refugee camps in Ivory Coast, Sierra Leone and Tanzania. She paid the
costs of all her trips and shared field accommodations with UN workers.
Later that year, the UNHCR named Jolie a Goodwill Ambassador. "We
cannot close ourselves off to information and ignore the fact that
millions of people are out there suffering," she said at the time. "I
honestly want to help. I don't believe I feel differently from other
people. I think we all want justice and equality, a chance for a life
with meaning." This launched a transformation in her public image from
tabloid "wild child" to social activist.
"What I admire most about Ms. Jolie is that someone used to living in
a glamorous environment should feel such compassion and commitment
towards a group so far removed from her world," said Gonzalo Vargas
Llosa, a UNHCR senior policy officer in Darfur. "Those who have seen her
[with refugees] talk about how genuine, straightforward, and natural she
is."
As a Goodwill Ambassador, Jolie has focused on people displaced by
war and ethnic conflicts, meeting with displaced Chechens in the Russian
Federation and with Iraqi women and children in Syria. After a 2005
visit to Chad, where millions of people have been displaced by the
conflict in the Darfur region, she and Pitt donated $1 million to three
agencies caring for those refugees. This year she starred as Mariane
Pearl in the film "A Mighty Heart," based on Pearl’s book about the
kidnapping and murder of her husband, journalist Daniel Pearl.
Today, Jolie is the co-chair of the Jolie-Pitt Foundation, which
reflects the actress's concern for children in war-torn and impoverished
areas. Among its first beneficiaries were Global Action for Children,
which helps AIDS orphans, Doctors Without Borders, several agencies that
help the Darfuri refugees, The Daniel Pearl Foundation, and a boys'
hospital in Sudan. In addition, she has personally donated over $3
million to the UNHCR.
Among her motivations, she says, are her children. In 2002, she
adopted a Cambodian boy, Maddox, and in 2005 she adopted an Ethiopian
girl, Zahara. Last spring, she adopted a boy, Pax, from Vietnam. Jolie
gave birth to Shiloh, her daughter with Pitt, in 2006. She chose to have
the baby in Namibia.
"I live a bold life, and I'm a happy mother because of that," she
said. "I think the bigger question is, Am I living the life that I want
my kids to see? If something happened to me doing something I believed
in, then I suppose that's the legacy I would leave as a mother."
LIVE FOR TODAY author unknown
A friend of mine opened
his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package:
"This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package."
He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.
"She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She
has never put it on , was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess
this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other
clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He
turned to me and said:
"Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a
special occasion".
I still think those words changed my life.
Now I read more and clean less.
I sit on the porch without worrying about anything.
I spend more time with my family, and less at work.
I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to,
not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses
every day.. I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like
it.
I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I
want to. The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from my
dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see,
listen or do it now. I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if
she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I
think she might have called her relatives and closest friends.
She might call old fr iends to make peace over past quarrels. I'd like to
think she would go out for Chinese, her favorite food. It's these small
things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come.
I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet,
letters... that I wanted to write
"One of these days".
I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brother and
sisters, son and daughters, not times enough at least, how much
I love them.
Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring
laughter and joy into our lives..
And, on each morning, I say to myself that this could b e a special day..
Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.
An angel can
illuminate the darkest path. -- Kathryn Schein
Luma Mufleh,
Soccer coach who champions the cause of refugee children,
By Kimberly Winston
On her way to the grocery store one day, Luma Mufleh, then a girls'
soccer coach at a YMCA in Clarkston, Ga., noticed a bunch of boys
playing soccer in the streets of the Atlanta suburb. Many were
dark-skinned and had foreign accents. None had uniforms or cleats. Their
mothers, some of them in veils, looked on.
The sight reminded Mufleh, who is 32, of her childhood in Jordan. "It
looked like home," Mufleh told Beliefnet, "so I sat outside and watched
them play."
Within a week, Mufleh was coaching the boys, ages 9 through 17. Like
her, the children were all immigrants to this country. Unlike her, they
came as refugees from war-ravaged lands--Afghanistan, Bosnia, Burundi,
Congo, Gambia, Iraq, Kosovo, Liberia, Somalia, and Sudan. Many had
witnessed atrocities. They knew hunger, loss, and terrible grief.
Dubbing her new team "The Fugees" in a nod to their common bond as
refugees, Mufleh soon found herself as busy off the field as on. Many of
the children and their families needed help finding work, getting enough
food, and negotiating new schools, new languages, and new customs. Last
year, she founded
Fugees
Family Foundation, a nonprofit that works to ease the transition of
refugee families to life in the United States.
Mufleh is nominated as one of Beliefnet's Most Inspiring People of the
Year for devoting herself to the needs of young immigrants and working
to smooth their transition to becoming Americans as well as athletes.
"Coming to the U.S. and leaving my country, I had such a hard time
adjusting," she told Beliefnet. "But now I realize there are so many
people who have it much harder, and I don't want them to feel the way
that I felt. I want them to feel there is a place for everyone here."
Mufleh’s inspiration comes from her grandmother, who gave food and money
to anyone who came to her for help. "She was a very humble and giving
woman. She never turned anyone away. She said, 'I give what I can of
myself, and I don't expect anything in return.' That has always stuck
with me." She is also inspired by the mothers of the kids she coaches.
"Their strength, resilience, and determination are what motivate me to
do better every day," she told Edutopia Magazine.
Today, the Fugee family is growing. There are four soccer teams of about
100 children, including one for girls ages 12-16. All sign a contract
committing to doing homework and staying away from drugs, alcohol,
cigarettes, and bad language. A dispute with the city of Clarkston, Ga.,
over a field for the Fugees to practice has been settled, at least
temporarily. Mufleh must ask permission of the city for a place to play
every few months.
The program is expanding beyond just sports.
Fresh Start, a
cleaning service she founded to provide income and self-development for
the parents of some of the soccer players, has been handed over to the
employees. Fugee Family
has launched a tutoring program, on a
trial basis, to help students who might be falling through the cracks.
And last summer, she took 40 kids to her alma mater, Smith
College in Northampton, Mass., to participate in a literacy and sports
camp.
"Their parents have never been to college, so they'll be first
generation to go, and we wanted to show them what the possibilities
were," she said.
But it is her own education, she says, that is just beginning.
"I am getting more of an education now than I did in my four years of
school," she told Beliefnet. "Of what it means to be poor in this
country or to be black. In school you can write papers on it and spend
hours talking about it, but until you see it firsthand you don't really
understand."
Angel of Grace,
Leon Rippy, who plays Earl on 'Saving Grace,' talks about playing an
angel on TV and being part of TNT's new hit show.
Interview by Michael Kress

On
the TNT series "Saving Grace," the veteran actress Holly Hunter
plays Grace Hanadarko, an intense and cynical Oklahoma City police
detective who drinks too much and sleeps around. Then she encounters
Earl, an angel who's been sent to halt Grace's downward spiral.
Though she's not interested in the redemption Earl promises, he
doesn't give up on her. Leon Rippy is the actor who dons the angel
wings to play Earl, trying week after week to save Grace from
herself. Rippy recently spoke to Beliefnet about the role--and
whether he believes in angels himself.
How does it feel to play an angel on TV?
I'm totally honored. I think it's by far the most important work
that I've ever done. Throughout my career I've been a little part of
many stories, but never have I had a role that I truly believe in my
heart and soul has the ability to affect people's lives.
How so?
I think it offers hope to many that may consider themselves past it.
And I think statistically in this country there are many more bars
than there are churches, so you can drive by any one of those and
there are half a dozen "Grace"s inside. And I just think a character
like Earl is much easier for them to relate to than the typical
imagery that comes to mind when thinking of angels.
Do you believe in angels yourself?
Yes, I do. I certainly do, and I stepped out here in faith so many
years ago. Before I came here, someone very close to me said, "You
let go and let God." And I did, and it's not been all easy, and the
faith has been put to the test a time or three, but somehow we've
persisted and we're still here, and yes, I do believe in angels and
faith. And not in a church sense of the word. I think there's so
much hypocrisy in the church these days, that's probably what turned
me against it early in life. But my faith is very strong, and so I
can't believe I'm still here and still making a living doing
something I love to do, and it's meaningful. I'm the most blessed
guy in this town, there's no doubt.
That's an amazing thing to be able to say.
I'm sure I will always be able to. I can't imagine enduring this
kind of lifestyle or committing to this kind of career or trying to
accomplish this without God in my corner. That would be impossible
for me.
Do you believe that people--and specifically, you--have a
guardian angel?
I've never felt that there's any one specific guardian angel over
our lives. I just believe they're here, and there's so much that
we'll never understand and I don't want to understand until it's
time to understand. I just acknowledge it and acknowledge the
presence, so I can't say that here's someone that's been in
communication with my old granny, and now they've been told to come
keep an eye on me.
But from the time that I was young and experienced my first episodes
with grief, I've always felt, when I was doing something that I knew
was naughty at a young age, that somebody could see me. So it kept
me from doing a lot of bad things.
Do you think a lot of people find their Earl in life? Do you
think it's a character that most people, at some point in their
life, encounter?
I would hope that they are able to find something that they believe
in, and that something would be along the lines of Earl, [but] I
can't speak for the masses.
I know that the words I'm given are so simplistic and so full of
meaning, and I still can't believe they picked me to do it. I'm
"machine stupid," but my wife goes on the Internet and reads some of
the feedback that the network is getting, and it's really amazing.
And obviously, you'll get a born-again now or then that has been
totally offended by the language or sexual abrasiveness of the show.
But for every one of those, there's 1,000 more that come to the
plate and put them in their place, so to speak.
Why does the show feature so much drinking and sex? Why is
it important that it's there?
It's important to show the degeneration of Grace's character, her
self-destructiveness or what have you, and I think all those things
go kind of hand-in-hand. As I mentioned earlier, driving by a bar
and there are a bunch of "Grace"s inside--there are a lot of people
that try to drown their troubles without putting their faith in a
higher power, and those are vices of self-destructiveness that are
part of everyday life in the world. I don't know that having a
character that doesn't drink and doesn't smoke, doesn't have sex
randomly--what's to save? So it's a crucial part of the story. This
show is not comfortable to watch, obviously, but definitely shows
that she's in need of some salvation.
Do you think she wants that salvation? Does she want to be
redeemed?
I believe in her heart she does. Obviously the best part is her
heart, and it's big, it's worth Earl's trouble. I've described her
as being his biggest headache but his best friend as well. And I
think you can see into a person's heart.
I think there is true evil in the world, but I certainly don't see
any of that in her. I think the people that she arrests, maybe so.
And, you know, God's forgiveness is huge, huge. I just recalled a
read-through, a table read that we did of the final episode, and it
moved me to tears that I couldn't control. It was a little
embarrassing and I didn't know why this was happening. I discussed
it with my wife on the way home, and it was one of those moments
where I think I was torn between myself and the character that I'm
playing, and saying, "Well, you know, I mean, I'm a man of
forgiveness, but God's forgiveness is much greater than my own."
And, you know, if he can find forgiveness for this lowly individual
then, you know, that's more than I could do.
How did you prepare for this role?
When I got the script, I read it and it moved me. I was excited by
it. My wife and I prepare every role together, and she works with me
for a few days prior to going in. Maybe two or three times in my
career I've gone into an audition feeling that I had it perfect, and
then something happens and it's terrible. So this audition was one
of those, and I kept forgetting what I was saying, and I even
stopped in the middle of it and said, "I'm totally sorry. This never
happens to me. I don't know why it's happening today." And Nancy
[Miller, the show's creator] or one of the other producers said,
"Oh, don't worry about it. It's just the dialog." And I said, "Well,
that's easy for you to say, you have a job. I’m over here looking
for one."
And somehow I made it through and had four additional auditions for
this, which were all pretty good, and I got the role. Nancy called
me that evening after I got it and said, "I wrote this a year and a
half ago, and I, obviously, as a writer, have a vision of the person
that's to be playing this, or the kind of person that I want. And
when you stepped in the room, ou were the embodiment of that
vision." And I'm thankful. Otherwise that first audition would have
gotten me thrown out.
That sounds like that something every actor dreams of
hearing.
It is. My wife and I are very spiritual people and we've prayed for
a role like this my whole career, and how wonderful it is to have a
role that we believe affects people in a positive way.
How do you maintain your faith in an industry not known for
its spirituality?
I hide in the backyard. I made a rule a long time ago I come out
when I'm being paid, I'm hungry, or need medical assistance. The
rest of the time I don't have much to do with it. I just kind of
say, "Well, that's all happening outside my fence." I go and I do my
work and come home and we pray a lot, and have for a long, long
time, and will never stop. And I'm blessed.
How would you describe the role of prayer in your life?
It's constant, and I've seen the results of it time and time again.
It's a day-by-day thing, and we rely on it totally. It's the best
way I know of combating problems when they seem insurmountable. And
my wife's got an excellent parking prayer, and a parking space will
open up right in front of where we're going pretty much every time.
She went to lunch with our accountants a couple of months back, and
and he said, "But we'll never get a parking place." And it's packed,
and Carol said, " Yeah, just come on, there'll be one." And right in
front of the door, you know, next to the handicapped space, there
was one that opened up as soon as she got there. And she said, "I
can't believe that." And Carol said, "Oh, it happens all the time."
And she's made a big believer out of her. Or maybe she has a
guardian angel of parking spaces.
To switch gears a little bit, I wanted to talk a little bit
more about "Saving Grace" and its success. Are you surprised by it?
I'm surprised in one sense, just in the general sense of a
spiritual-based show, without being "Touched by an Angel" or
"Highway to Heaven."
My cousin's a minister in North Carolina, and he has many ministers
under his jurisdiction there. And he told them all, "Oh, you have to
watch my cousin, he's playing an angel on TV." And I went, "Oh, Gil,
maybe you shouldn't have done that. I mean, you might get some of
these people up in arms. This is not an easy show."
And I didn't hear from him for about three weeks after it started
airing, and I wondered if he was getting a lot of flak from telling
all these other ministers to tell their congregations to watch this
thing. And then I get this wonderful e-mail from him saying, "You
would not believe, Leon, how many of our Bible study groups
throughout this whole jurisdiction have started discussing 'Saving
Grace' every week."
It's just healthy debate, and if one person relishes it and another
one hates it, hey, you've got reason to talk right there.
Where do you see the character of Earl going in the show?
I certainly hope he gets closer to accomplishing his task here of
bringing Grace to a more righteous way of life, and I'm so excited
every time we see a new script. I have no idea where it's going
until I see those next scripts, and I'm glad I can't be killed off.